To learn more about how important mindset is to children's motivation, success, and happiness, have a look at this video.
|
Praising children for their abilities and achievement has the opposite effect from what well meaning parents, coaches, and teachers expect. Children are very in tune with the underlying messages in the praise we give them. Praising their abilities leads children to believe that they are valued for those abilities. Since they are being told they are "a natural," "gifted," "born brilliant," and that they can't change how they were born, these abilities can't change. You either have "it" or you don't. This kind praise puts them in a fixed mindset.
Children with a fixed mindset focus too much on their innate abilities. Praising them for their abilities, makes them focus on them even more. These children feel these traits can't be changed so their abilities are all they have, and all they will ever have. |
Since these children base their whole identity on being smart or talented, when these students make a mistake, the stakes are serious. They only have a few options to explain why that mistake happened. It's because something or someone else caused their failure ("That ref is blind!" or "There was too much noise in the hallway during the test.") Or they aren't smart or talented enough. Blame someone or something else, or admit to the heartbreak of being not good enough. Which one would you choose?
"After seven experiments with hundreds of children, we had some of the clearest findings I've ever seen: Praising children's intelligence harms their motivation and it harms their performance.
How can that be? Don't children love to be praised?
Yes, children love praise And the especially love to be praised for their intelligence and talent. It really does give them a boost, a special glow -- but only for the moment. The minute they hit a snag, their confidence goes out the window and their motivation hits rock bottom. If success means they're smart, then failure means they're dumb. That's the fixed mindset."
Carol Dweck, Ph. D., Mindset, Ballentine Books, 2006. Pg 175.
How can that be? Don't children love to be praised?
Yes, children love praise And the especially love to be praised for their intelligence and talent. It really does give them a boost, a special glow -- but only for the moment. The minute they hit a snag, their confidence goes out the window and their motivation hits rock bottom. If success means they're smart, then failure means they're dumb. That's the fixed mindset."
Carol Dweck, Ph. D., Mindset, Ballentine Books, 2006. Pg 175.
Praising these children for their abilities only adds to the stress of being perfect.
You say this..."You learned that so quickly! You're so smart!
"Look at that drawing! Is she the next Picasso, or what?"
"You're so brilliant, you got an A without even studying!"
|
They hear this..."If I don't learn something quickly, I'm not smart."
"I shouldn't try drawing anything hard or they'll see I'm no Picasso."
"I'd better quit studying (or study in secret) or they won't think I'm brilliant."
|
Carol Dweck, Ph. D., Mindset, Ballentine Books, 2006. Pgs 174 - 175